My “This I Believe” draft 1

I believe in the power of human relationships…

I believe that a simple smile to a stranger on the street can make someone’s day, and that yelling at a girl to move in the grocery store can do just the opposite. I just read an article the other day about babies’ development in conjunction with watching television. The article stressed that while watching television is not ideal for babies, the real harm comes from mothers not taking the time to interact with their children. I believe that when all is said and done we don’t remember the time that we spent studying, the tv shows that we watched, or even the books that we read, but we will remember the relationships that we have built. The fights that we have overcome, the laughing fits that made us pee in our pants, or the long conversations that shaped us the people who we have become, are the moments that we care about.
I believe that when I am sad about anything, it will make me feel better to talk to another human about it, rather than wallow in my sorrow alone. I believe that human interaction has the power to make us want to be happier. Whether or not talking to another person can make the troubles go away, talking to another person can make us want the troubles to go away.
I believe that every person is merely a product of his or her human relationships. This idea makes me think about what kind of relationships I try to take part in, or what I put into those relationships. If I believe in the effect that I can have on everyone that I meet and know, then I need to weigh the effects of my actions and words heavily. I try to recognize who each of my friends are as an individual and examine what I have to give in our relationship. Knowing that each relationship will have a powerful effect on both of us, I try to make each interaction as positive as possible. Because when you hurt someone, you have no idea how far reaching the effect of that pain may be.
Everyone has those events in their memory that have stayed with them as fresh as a memory from yesterday. Whether it is a brother yelling at you and pinning you against a wall, or you yelling at a friend when they were trying to surprise you and do something nice. These interactions have the power to shape who we become. It is no small feat to try and be a positive stimulus for everyone that you interact with, but it is so important to

Trying.

I Believe in trying.

For me, it is the process that can often be more important then the goal. It is in working for something, in truly and completely working for something, that one can prove how much he really values that something.

For anybody who wants to do some good with their life, the world can be a daunting place. Where do you start? Do you become a doctor so that you will be equipped to heal the physical ills of the world’s people? Do you become a teacher so that you can go beyond the physical and lay the foundation of the intellectual and moral development of children? Or, do you move beyond the individual to the societal, working in government and policy to ensure that the services of doctors and teachers are accessible to all?

Ultimately, I think these are the wrong questions. It is not the what that matters, but the how. I believe one should choose an area that suits his talents and passions, and once this choice has been made, you put all of your heart and all of your soul into pursuing that path. It is not about single-handedly solving the problems facing the world, but about choosing my little niche in this world and giving my entire being over to it.

We are only given one life, and what we owe in return is our sweat and our tears, our whole-hearted effort to live that life fully and completely. We have no duty to succeed, but we also have no right to laziness and apathy. We are asked only to try, and that is something of which we are all capable.

I cannot erase grief and suffering but I can humbly try and assuage them through opening myself up to the pain of others. I cannot promise a friend or family member that I will never hurt him but I can try and treat others with sensitivity and compassion. I cannot guarantee that I will feel God every moment of my life, but I can work tirelessly to connect with him and to know him.

I believe in trying. I believe if an idea, a goal, a person really means something to you, you owe it nothing less then working for it with your entire being. And if you fail once, you just pick yourself up and try again and again and again. And then, only then, when you have given everything that you can, you can go to bed at night with a light mind and an easy spirit. Whether you have succeeded or failed, and though your body aches and your mind is exhausted, you are content, because you know that you tried.

A Real Eye Opener

Hey guys,

I hate to put a damper on the fun conversation, but I wanted to tell you all something and felt like it was a good way to tell everyone at the same time. So my Dad hasn’t been hearing well in his left ear, and he kept getting sick also so he wanted to go check it out. Today he found out that he has a benign (99%) brain tumor, and he will need neurosurgery. At this point he is essentially deaf in his left ear, but thank Gd he can hear fine out of the right one. He is going on March 4th to find out details about his surgery. So any davening or tzedakah you can do in his name would be great, its

Michoel Eliezer ha Levi ben Sarah Leah

My Dad is being totally calm about it, but of course I’m totally freaked out. I suppose I should begin to realize that my parents are at that point in their lives that things might naturally start to go wrong, and that I really am an adult but I don’t feel like one. This whole situation really reaffirms what a better idea it was for Yoni and me to move to Atlanta this summer rather than the west coast right away. Hopefully I can be there to help my parents with whatever else might come up after this. Also my dad keeps reminding me how much he loves me, which is wonderful, but makes me feel like he needs to get it in before he can’t anymore. Which makes me feel like I should remind everyone that I love how much I love them. So here it is, I love you all so much. Please daven for my dad, and I’ll see you all soon

This I Beleive

In response to Danny’s call for a Blog revival, I have a proposition. Have you guys heard of the NPR series “This I believe? Basically, they ask people to write around 500 words on something they belive in, something that frames who they are. Some examples: I believe in integrity, dancing, my dog, wildness, faithfulness, grief…I’ve been reading the book and its really amazing. It’s just ordinary people’s short thoughts on a belief that shapes who they are. I am writing one anyway just for fun, so I thought i’d see if any of you guys want to write them also and we can post them. You should look around the website first and get a feel for them: http://thisibelieve.org/index.php.

Also,  here are a few of my favorites ones i’ve read so far:

http://thisibelieve.org/dsp_ShowEssay.php?uid=22421&lastname=blowers&firstname=andy&yval=0&start=0

http://thisibelieve.org/dsp_ShowEssay.php?uid=13296&lastname=chalmers&firstname=betsy&yval=0&start=0

http://thisibelieve.org/dsp_ShowEssay.php?uid=18108&lastname=davis&firstname=cortney&yval=0&start=0

http://thisibelieve.org/dsp_ShowEssay.php?uid=34413&lastname=fulghum&firstname=robert&yval=0&start=0

So check them out and start posting!! Mine is soon to come…

Does the name Shlomo ring a bell?

more music charts

Hard to make a change

I know that many if not all of us are constantly looking at the world wondering how we can help or make a difference. We have all had the conversation before about what we can do as teens, then as college students and maybe even looking towards the future as adults. Everywhere I look I see something that I want to help fix or change and while I know that I am too selfish to completely devoting my life to helping the greater cause ala Paul Farmer, I also know that making a difference means too much to me to just let it go. 

There are so many issues that we can help with, such as medical causes, poverty, or genocide (and many more). Really up until this year, I would get extremely overwhelmed when I would think of the world that we live in and how spoiled we all are. I would think about how much good I could do with the money that I spend on clothes, and then get depressed because I knew that I would not stop buying clothes. I kept trying to think of realistic ways that I could help. 

For some reason, this year I had a very different attitude. I started getting more involved in service projects and realizing that now is the time to make small differences and start planning for my future. Now is the time when I can come up with ideas for a larger plan in the future (I am not delusional I am not planning HUGE large scale, but something a bit bigger). So far I have been able to come up with minor charity or fundraising events that would all be held in whatever community I live in. 

As some of you may know I am heavily involved with Relay for Life at NYU. Relay for Life is one of the American Cancer Society’s top fundraising events and they have them all over the place. It is an amazing event and all of the money goes to fund cancer research, medical care for needy patients, and provisions for The Hope Lodges around the country. They ask every committee member to raise at least $1000 each and try to get our teams to raise a good amount of money as well. 

Well lets just say It is hard to make a change. 

I have sent out tons of e-mails to every adult e-mail address that I have, I have contacted every adult that I have a daily contact with, and I have gotten 4 responses!! (I did not ask my parents because when I did the breast cancer event a few months ago I asked her to e-mail all of her friends for my fundraising and I’m pretty sure that she e-mailed a large portion of our community and I feel bad hitting people up for money twice) I have a team of 18 members and not a single one of them fundraised. Some of my team members did not even pay the required $10 donation, because they signed up as survivors even though they are not. I know that we cant always give to everything, or we would spread ourselves too thin, but honestly we all come from upper middle class homes, especially my school friends, who are on my team. All that I was asking of them was to help raise a little bit of money to help someone who else who needs it. If everyone on my team took 10 minutes to e-mail 20 people in a mass e-mail, lets say they each made a minimum of $30, thats already $540 more! Thats crazy! 

This is not meant to bash my team of friends at all. This is just me expressing my disheartened feeling about how hard it is to get things done. I cant help but think of this as a mini future project. I cant even get my friends to get involved in something that means a lot to me, how would I get strangers to help? Even leaving the spectrum of money aside, how often to we take the time out to help our friends with something that really matters to them? Jessi started this learning program at NYU and I went a few times, but then I had too much work, and then I had this excuse and this excuse and now I have not gone since last semester. Maybe Jessi will never tell me, “Hey, Merissa this learning program is important to me, I would appreciate if at least my friends continued to come”, but she should not have to. Asher works his butt off with all of his new health initiative programs at YU and I cant figure out a justification for not going to his events, other than I didnt feel like it. 

I understand having too much work to go hang out with a friend, I understand why I did not come up to YU to watch Tal’s and Danny’s speech contest, although it would have been really nice if I had, but what I cannot reconcile, is how I can watch my friend work their butt off and put their heart into trying to make a difference in the world and still not support them. 

We all want to make differences, I know that. Maybe an easy way to start is to support those who are already on their way to making a difference. 

Forgiveness

In the spirit of reviving the blog, I would like to pose to you guys an issue that I have been dealing with for awhile. While many of you guys know a lot of the details of this situation, I am going to try to speak in more vague terms in the hopes of keeping this kind of general. And as im sure you know, please keep this within the blog group only.
Basically, as I know you guys have heard about a lot over the last year and some, I experienced a situation where I went through a lot of hurt and pain. And unfortunately, as much as I would like to tell myself and others that this situation is all behind me, that I have moved passed it, this has not totally happened. I still find myself full of all this anger and pain that can be overwhelming at times, that I dont really know what to do with. Sometimes I forget it is there and I think that maybe I moved on, but then a situation will pull it out of me, and I will once again realize that there are parts of me that are still completely destroyed, parts of me that are full of so much pain I dont even know what to do with it.

This is not meant to be a sob story- there is a more productive question at the bottom of this. It has to do with forgiveness, something that Danny and I discussed in a conversation earlier tonight. See, it is not so fun to carry around large amounts of anger inside of you. All I want is to be able to let go of this anger, to forgive the person that hurt me and move on with my life. But there is something holding me back. I dont know exactly what it is, but i cannot seem to move past it. Its almost like I feel like by letting myself forgive this person, I will be telling him that it is all okay, he did nothing wrong and there are no hard feelings. It would be like saying that the pain is gone when it is really not. The bad thing about this attitude is that I am really only hurting myself with it. This person will likely never know whether I forgive him or not. His life will go on with or without my forgiveness. As Danny pointed out tonight, forgiveness is really something that I should offer to make my own life better. By forgiving, I will be able to lift some of the anger out of my heart.

But the thing that Danny and I could not figure out is how to go about forgiving. How do you just decide to forgive someone when there is still so much hurt and pain from what they have done? Even harder, how do you forgive someone who is not even asking for your forgiveness? What does forgiveness entail in this sort of situation? It is one thing to say you forgive someone, but I guess what I am really asking is, how do you feel forgiveness?

A Musical!? A Musical!!

Michael sings: Has anyone seen Shuki? He’s never around.

Nadav responds: In the library with you-know-who and not to be found.

Ideas to Knock Your Socks Off. Now with Video! No, But Really.

I have decided that from time to time I will let you guys in, via this blog, on some of the Things I Do on the Internet. That’s right: those hours that I spend scrolling, reading and typing, and sometimes even send you links to, will be a little more public. These aren’t the websites that I check the most (because of time restrictions), but they are fascinating, enthralling, and enlightening always.

I’m going to start off this series with one of my favorite resources for really just expanding your mind.  If you are in the mood
for an intellectual distraction, to be blown away by an innovator in a field you didnt know existed, or hear a story from an angle you never thought of, just browse the following.

The first is an unbelievable site that I have showed some of y’all before:

TED

TED’s “annual conference now brings together the world’s most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives” (from their website)

Right, but the great part is, they actually do this. The people who speak at TED are–every single one of them–the kind of people who are just so radically different with so many powerful and important ideas and so much capacity for implementing them that everyone they interact with feels this. You guys know the kind of person I’m talking about. Hakotel, think Rav Elon. Emma, I was surprised that Paul Farmer hasn’t spoken there (too busy probably). Merissa, I think you once spoke of the NYU president like this. Others, you get the picture. And these speakers communicate thier idea, they ask questions and demonstrate technique. They have a passion for knowledge, learning and–best of all–sharing.

Amazingly for us, even though it costs between $1000-5000 to go to a conference (you have to apply, write essays, etc. and have that kind of cash) they put a lot of the video online! yay! (TED2008 just finished, actually. It was in Aspen. I don’t think any of the videos are up yet.)

So browse by theme to find something that catches your eye, or click here and you can order talks by most jaw-dropping, most courageous, most inspiring, most beautiful and more.

They last between 5 – 20 minutes, and if you spend some time poking around, you will find great rewards.

Interestingly, I usually watch talks that have nothing to do with what I study in college – I watch lots of bio ones. This is astounding (ocean exploration and sea life). I found this really cool as well (evolution & saving the earth). But go find your own. Lots of really interesting musicians with some wild notions about music. Artists. Monks. Jane Goodall. Malcom Gladwell. Jimmy Wales (wikipedia). James Watson (dna). Mostly, though, it’s people I have never heard of, ideas I have never thought about, and videos I haven’t seen. (I’ve only watched 20 or so.) So many different areas to explore. It is actually wonderful.

btw, lots of Israelis, you’ll notice. yay again!

Ok. I clearly have high hopes for TED and this crowd. Give it a chance! Despite the fact that we’ve been talking about how none of us has any time, I heartily encourage time to be spent on TED.

Please post any videos you watched and what you thought of them.

Share the love* with everyone!

*”love” above refers to the inspiring and fascinating and even just pretty cool videos you come across on TED.com

I just wanted to play tag. I never thought I’d be it.

Cooties: Don’t let it happen to you.